Saturday, March 9, 2013

THE LOVELY LADY AND THE KEVLAR VEST

Yes folks, here's the latest installment of the adventures of the lovely lady in Weirdlandia. It has been a little while since we lat visited her, let's see what the new chapter brings us....

Life in Weirdlandia was proceeding normally, or as normally as could be expected for a place named Weirdlandia. The lovely lady had settled in the usual routine and was trying to make it until june, without losing life or limb. However, normalcy and routine could be considered a misnomer in Weirdlandia, because things were far from normal or routine. It seemed everybody was on pins and needles, agitated, irritated, stressed out, angry, and ready to go off at any second, and those were the adults in the place. The little people had started going off like rockets since September, so their behavior was nothing new. However, now the grown ups had been noticing that the little ones were a little off their rocker, maybe it was the constant fighting that was going on in all the classrooms, the constant fighting that was going on before school, after school and at lunch, the constant fighting that was going on in the office, and the absolutely ear bending, blood curling, hair raising way these little ones were talking to everybody else, including all adults, with and without a badge.

In the midst of all this terror war zone, misplaced love, the lovely lady begun thinking that maybe this particular place offered challenges that were not necessarily the healthiest for her. Perhaps, she begun cogitating (is that even a word?), staying alive was more important than anything else, given the fact that everywhere she looked everybody was intent on inflicting some kind of violence against everybody else. The lovely lady and her friends kept being told that they should embrace 'the culture' that was around them, they should try to understand it, learn about it, which was a nice way of saying they should excuse, overlook and ignore the animalistic behavior around them for the sake of what nobody really could say. That's when it hit her, the lovely lady figured out that the best way to make it to June safe and sound, would be to buy and wear a Kevlar vest underneath her everyday clothing. That way she thought, if any of the little people brought any metal objects with bullets to school, which would easily pass through the invisible metal detectors, she would hopefully avoid all that lead in her body because the lovely lady knew that lead is poisonous and kinda painful. All she had to do is run to the store to buy the latest in self preservation fashion, hopefully she would find it in her size....

11 comments:

  1. Where in the hell do you work...a maximum security prison?

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    Replies
    1. How'd you guessed?...Let's just say, if the story was not fictitious.....the place could be a training ground for a maximum security prison....

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  2. Replies
    1. You know I'm not at liberty to say, I have to protect the innocent, namely me....

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  3. Time to look for a new line of work, girl!

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    Replies
    1. But this is a totally made up story....no really, it is....

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  4. Doesn't someone need an Italian translator?

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  5. Forget the Kevlar, at this point I think you need full riot gear.

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