Friday, December 14, 2012

I'M BACK....MAYBE

Welcome to my new blog. I had to shut down the other one for work related reasons and because I don't want my husband to know anything about me anymore. This weekend will mark the first week I have lived as a separated woman, soon to be divorced. it feels weird, I'm sad, angry, shocked and deflated all at the same time. I don't know what to feel anymore, maybe I shouldn't try to feel anything right now, it's just so damn hard. I don't understand how my husband of 27 years can change so drastically. Yeah, he's got an addiction, but I can't believe this is all the fault of drugs.

He got served with divorce papers yesterday, he didn't call, email or anything.. He won't talk to me, has cut off all contact. How do you do that after 27 years of living together? How can love turn to hate so quickly? Maybe it wasn't love to begin with, but I don't know what else could it have been. I am struggling with the idea that I have been totally wrong about the man that I lived with for so long, and that's not easy to swallow.

But enough about me, how do you like the new blog? I have to tweak it and add lots of pictures of my chis, they're the only family I have left. Btw, does anybody know how that match.com thing works? One has to look forward right? 

10 comments:

  1. If you do anything moving forward for yourself, DO NOT seek out the internet for love. Trust me. Do not jump into something else to soothe the anguish and the pain you have now. Do not turn to the nearest shoulder for comfort. DO not assume anything.

    Heal first. That is the most important thing. And, for god's sake, do not try to ask why it happened. And, of it was drugs, then you are far better off than you even now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Atypical is right; heal first. Then Match.com might be a good thing. My son went through a divorce 3 years ago. He has met a lovely woman on Match.com and they plan to be married in Jamaica next May.....there is life after divorce.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sometimes I really have no clue why people do the things they do.
    The blog looks good. :)
    Sometimes our furbabies are all we need.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I feel very fortunate that my marriage has lasted this long, so I don't know very much about what it is like to be divorced, but I've lived a long time & I'm here for you if you want to talk. I just became a follower!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I also agree with Atypical. Heal first. Don't seek anything out at first, romance-wise. Join a book club, take a dance class, learn a new language. Do things that you enjoy and make new friends and acquaintances. After awhile, try the dating scene. I've used both eHarmony and Match off and on when I lived in Sacramento. I met nice people, but they just weren't right for me. Eventually, when I have extra money, I'll sign up for one of them again.

    And sweets, if the ex has problems with drugs, you're better off without him. I've never married, so never been divorced either, but I know this cannot be easy for you. Loved ones can hide addictions from you. They can pretend things are okay for awhile. You will make it through this. (((HUGS)))

    ReplyDelete
  6. it is hard to understand how these things happen and you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure that out...take time, discover yourself again...you have been with someone else a long time and in that we often lose a lot of ourselves...find you...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sorry you are having to go through this:( Drugs are a terrible thing. They can change a person so drastically. Sending prayers your way:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm stopping over from Eva's blog-- Nice to meet you.

    I'm sorry you're having a difficult time and can't imagine how hard things must be for you right now. But I agree with the other, take your time, be kind to yourself, and catch your breath before you begin the next chapter of life. Easier said then done, probably but, but it's all really one step at a time.

    Hang in there.

    I'm a new follower and I'll be back. xo jj

    ReplyDelete
  9. For some understanding you might try some Alanon meetings or maybe you already have.. Wishing you the best

    ReplyDelete
  10. My heart goes out to you; clearly, this has been a rough month for you. I wish you peace with all of your decisions.

    ReplyDelete