Friday, December 28, 2012


Actually, I have a lot of things on my mind, but being that I don't want to type too much, I'll go with the short version. Today, I went shopping, since the post Christmas sales are really good this year, and I cannot resist a good sale, especially when it involves shoes. I did manage to buy some new tops, jeans and shoes, including a pair for New Year, but that's not really what I want to talk about. To be honest, I'm not really sure what I want to talk about, but lately I've been thinking about how some people can be bossy, I mean really bossy, without even knowing it. Or maybe, they do know it and don't care cause it's their way or the highway? Do you know anybody like that? Maybe not in your family (or maybe yes), they can be your friends, neighbors, milkman, whatever. How do you deal with them?

Let's say you have a friend (ok, I have a friend) who's like that, only you didn't know it before you spent a few days together. This friend is quite pushy in a way, though this person doesn't think so or maybe doesn't even realize it. Now, this person has had a few 'discussions' with you, where she basically let you know that she thinks her point of view is the only possibly rational one, and that you, your ideas and points of view are wrong, stupid and very childish. She has also tried to commandeer the discussion by talking for a long period of time, then telling you she has no time to listen to your point of view because unlike you, she doesn't have a lot of time to waste. What would you do? 

Let's say you are going to spend a few days at this person's house. Now, you, as a decent human being and good guest, know that when you're in somebody else's house, you're supposed to do things her way, so you do that because you are that great, outstanding, unbelievably fine decent human being. Let's also say that when this person was in your house, she didn't exactly do the same, she didn't do as the Romans do when in Rome (ah ah ), now, what do you do? Do you not stay there? Do you say something to her with the chance that your friendship may suffer? Do you go over there and do your thing since she did hers at your house? Or do you still go there, and being the graceful, understanding, all around winner of the Noble peace prize you are, act as the usual great guest, full of finesse and grace? Most of all, how much of her food do you actually eat (this is very important for all Italians...)?

So, let me hear your pearls of wisdom because I've had a few instances of people acting like this with me, and frankly, I'm starting to get a little tired of it. I don't think it's me, but maybe I'm just too fracking nice in general, and should really be thinking about becoming a hard ass. 

For your viewing pleasure....


  1. I try not to spend a lot of time with people like that. Because the annoy the crap outta me. If she doesn't take the time to really hear your side, but only sticks around to cough up her opinions (which are, of course, the only ones that matter), then she's not a true friend. I've had friends like this in the past, and now I have only an email friendship with them. If you decide to maintain your friendship with this person, I would still try to take the high road. Do your decent person thing if staying at her house, but I might throw in a lil' somethin' of your own in there, too. Just to spice things up. And if she stays at your house and leaves a pile of wet bath towels on the floor, you have every right to say, "I'd really prefer you not leave my nice bath towels in a wet pile on the floor. It would be great if you could hang them up when done." You would NOT be out of line. Because, seriously, that's just rude. And if she really never does listen to your side, point of view, or let you express your opinion, you do have a right to say something about it. Just be careful how you phrase it so it that hopefully it doesn't come across as an attack. If she truly is your friend, she'd feel bad about hurting your feelings the way she has and make an effort to not do so in the future.

    It's a tough place to be, this situation. You don't want to lose a friendship by saying something, but you could also lose it by not. Good luck!

    1. You're right J Day, a friendship can be lost whether I say something or not, so for now I'm not going to say anything, other than express my point of view on an issue, whether she wants to hear it or not. We'll see what happens as time goes by.

  2. At my age, I think life is too short to suffer the assholes.

  3. To have a friend, you need to be a friend. Lots of people have never learned this lesson.